My Inner Bitch

Stick figures!

2008-06-10T18:27:29Z

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Writer's Block: Stolen Goods

2008-03-24T23:52:28Z

What is the most valuable thing you've ever had stolen from you?

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My confidence in myself.

Celebrate with me!!!

2008-02-20T04:01:33Z

Jeffrey is asleep! and it's only 9:30! He's asleep!

This is something we've been working on for months now. Praise God! He's asleep!

Now we just need to make it a habit!

yukon_ruby @ 2008-01-01T23:34:00

2008-01-02T07:26:41Z

As the first day of the new year slides to an end, I'm in bed catching up on journals and blogs. I spent the day at my in-laws with Dale's brother and Dale's friend from high school. For most of the time that I was there, I was bored, ticked off or sad. New Year's always makes me sad, but this year seems especially melancholy. Friends getting sick, dreams dissolving, progress stopping. War, famine, pestilence.

There is much I wish to complain about and yet it all seems so small compared to things others are dealing with. I know that complaining won't help me to make progress about any of my issues, but it feels like that's all I can do.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone bothers to get up in the morning.

Yet I do. and Jeffrey will want to give my nose a finger hug so that it will stop bugging me. Or he'll wander up to me, butt his head on my leg, look up and say "Meow", grin and scamper off.

I'm lucky in many ways and I need to appreciate that.

The whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, but my itsy-bitsy corner of it may just be ok.

Blah Blah Blah Humbug.

2007-12-25T06:51:07Z

Yesterday we took Dale to the hospital because he wasn't breathing right. We were there from about 9pm to 2 or so. He got oxygen and extra ventolin and potassium and they sent us home. They changed Dale's drugs so that he now has both a puffer and a discus of ventolin and flovent. It seems to work better for him, Thank God. If we had pushed or I had left, I think they would have kept him in. I don't know that it would have been better, but if I had thought it through I would have left just after he got a bed. Instead I stayed up for most of the night and that doesn't help me reset my sleep schedule to more normal hours.

Jeffrey stayed at his best friend's house because we were going to the hospital. That was a good thing for sure. It would have been murder on us all to have him here. He was out of sorts and tired this afternoon though. He complained of a tummy ache and when I suggested a nap, he agreed immediately. His nap lasted for about five hours.

I should be wrapping presents and filling stockings. Christmas is alot of work and worry this year. Because both Jeffrey and Dale have been sick, we didn't do the fun stuff and I didn't have help doing the required stuff. I've had a lot of eye opening about how much Dale does around here.

There is a possibility that neither boy will be able to attend dinner with the family tomorrow. Definitely a downer. Well off to do stockings.

Ho Ho Ho!

Sickness and mess.

2007-12-22T05:00:23Z

It's official. Dale has the flu. He's miserable. Breathing is hard work. Complicated tasks like gettting a drink are simply beyond him. He coughs all night and is on more drugs than I've taken in the past year.

I've somehow screwed up my sleep cycle so that the time when I am sleepy is about 4am. This is doubly bad when Dale is sick and Jeffrey is off school. Jeffrey has a great time when he's esstentially alone and unsupervised, but I'm never so happy with the results.

The house is a complete and total pigsty. We have mice, and fruit flies. Dale and I were figuring that there is about 40 or 50 man hours of work to get it decent again. We'll never get it done by ourselves even if he was healthy. We just don't have the focus. I made some phone calls to see if we could get a crew from somewhere to get it done. One of the companies I called only deals with insurance claims. Some only want to do the 2h/week type of thing. We haven't really had a disaster, but we are a disaster. We need someone to come in and do half way between "we've had a flood" and "the dusting needs to be done" Any suggestions?

i'm going to try to sleep now. wish me luck.

*edit* actually we need the crew from "How clean is your house?"

Waked up.

2007-12-19T09:35:05Z

I am awake and have been for about the last hour. I'd really like to be asleep again. Dale is coughing about once a minute and Jeffrey is coughing about once every three. It's just enough to prevent me from falling back asleep.

When in the car, Jeffrey often pretends to have fallen asleep between the corner to our street and our house(45 seconds, tops). When I boost him from his car seat, he always complains "Mommy, you waked me up." Somehow that's about how I feel now.

Back to pretending to be asleep.

The end is near.

2007-12-18T06:39:13Z

Not the end of life, just of this cold/flu bug that's knocked us out for a week.

My eyes have cleared up without (prescription) chemical intervention. Just liberal use of an eye wash containing witch-hazel. Jeffrey's eyes are either better or he's learned that his eyes being stuck shut in the middle of the night is not fatal.
Actually Jeffrey seems less like he's dieing and more like usual. He was really bored this afternoon, so we took him to the chiropractor. Nothing like a field trip to interesting and unusual places to entertain my son.

We're sending Jeffrey to school tomorrow, pretty much come hell or high water. I need to do work. Dale needs to do work. Dale is wheezy and miserable but I plan to drug him up tomorrow and bundle him into the car. J-P and Sam are in town this week and we need to be there, even more than usual.

As miserable as I was on Sunday when shopping, I've now clued in that I've done shopping except for Jeffrey. The possibility exists that I might not have to go shopping on the 24th as strange as that may seem.

Well bedtime now.

Itchy watery eyes.

2007-12-17T08:07:39Z

I wish I had a microphone. Jeffrey snores like a 400lb wrestler when he's sick. He's decided since about 1am that the only acceptable pillow is my forearm. I haven't lost feeling in it yet, but I'd like to go back to sleep now and I can't figure out how to rearrange him. Decisions, Decisions.

As far as I can tell at the current time, we have no clean clothes, no clean dishes and no plan for tomorrow(logical tormorrow). I'm thinking that we should go to the doctor to find out if the eye issue is conjunctivitis. I'm also wondering if the doctor's office would buy it if I 'hadn't noticed' that my health card is expired.

Oh well, I'll figure that out later. Night now.

That's it I'm done.

2007-12-16T22:24:22Z

Jeffrey has now reached the stage of the day where everything is wrong. He was leaning on me while having a nap and his coughing woke him up. I grabbed a tissue and his drink cup and was waiting for him to ask for one or the other and he yelled at me for invading his space. So I pulled back by like a cm or two and then he yelled at me not to leave him alone.

The next two sentences out of his mouth were "Why can't I go and play outside?" and "I need medicine; I'm sick."

I've also been yelled at for touching him while rubbing his back, for making noise while singing 'his' song and for letting the sun go down(Purely through inattention, you know).

All of this on top of not sleeping at all last night, getting Vick's vaporub in my eye this morning and spending three hours at the mall(one of the _dumbest_ ideas I've had in a long time).

I may take him to the ER to get some sedatives,

for me.

yukon_ruby @ 2007-12-15T19:11:00

2007-12-16T22:12:37Z

It's 7pm and I'm both exhausted and have a headache, probably from sleeping too much. We've all been sick since Wednesday. Jeffrey has had a fever on and off since Thursday. He keeps waking up screaming about how he can't breath or can't open his eyes. This is the first time that I've ever had a cold in my eyes. It's pretty gross.

Dale and I have been trading off on taking care of him. How do other people do this stuff? Our house has succumbed to chaos. Even more so than usual. I am really _really_ sick of th

I haven't done my Xmas shopping for the company party on Wednesday. I meant to do it today but Dale got up with Jeffrey and I didn't make it out of bed until two.

I think I'm headed to lie in the dark and see if that makes me feel better.

Because all the cool kids are doing it.

2007-12-14T07:37:31Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas, yukon_ruby sent to me...

Twelve realsoonnows weaving

Eleven leftforwantings woodturning

Ten hugs a-blogging

Nine geeks beading

Eight jobs a-singing

Seven computers a-walking

Six jesus a-painting

Five ba-a-a-abies

Four puzzles

Three friends

Two computer games

...and a people in a poetry.

In 2008, yukon_ruby resolves to...

Overcome my secret fear of geeks.
Spend less time on people.
Pay for my puzzles on time.
Tell my family about hugs.
Eat more babies.
Drink four glasses of webstuff every day.

yukon_ruby @ 2007-11-09T23:54:00

2007-11-10T04:59:49Z

Having accidentally slept all day, I'm not currently sleepy. Tired, but not drowsy. I'm considering going out to get some junk food because I'm craving chips salsa and chocolate. Possibly caffeine as well. I'm not hungry or thirsty. Just unsatisfied. Eating won't make me satisfied, nor will sleeping, should I actually manage to drift off. But I feel like I should do one or the other.

Dale is headed to Montreal tomorrow* for some random game thing. So I will have to be 'on duty' all day. I expect it to go poorly. All the more reason I should sleep now. Stupid body.

* If you are in the Montreal area and wouldn't mind him crashing on your couch, let me know. He doesn't have a place to sleep yet.

Sleepy Sunday

2007-11-04T19:09:00Z

Sunday afternoons are great for naps. Sunday mornings are pretty good for them too. :) We didn't go to church this morning as both Dale and I were too slow to get moving. Jeffrey's best friend isn't home so active parenting is required today. Sometimes I forget that these days when Jeffrey wants to play with us are precious and limited.

"And den built a very dangerous fountain out of sausages"

2007-11-02T19:11:24Z

I wish my sense of humor translated more easily. I left Dale a voice mail from the baby Jesus and he hasn't even called me creepy. What's wrong with him?

The title of this entry comes from Girl Genius/ which you have to read from the beginning. It doesn't make sense any other way. There are those who tell me it doesn't make sense even if you do start at the beginning. Sausages will now cause me to laugh for weeks. No-one will understand me. It's a hard row to hoe. And right now I'm listening to Maria Bamford and trying not to laugh outloud.

Catchup.

2007-10-31T12:39:20Z

Apparently the only thing I needed to do in order to fall asleep was complain about not being able to sleep. The wonders of the net.

This morning, I'm up and relatively awake. Wondering if I should wake up the boy, or wait until the dryer is done. Dale was up until 6:30 am "Monday night, Tuesday morning".* I was up until 5am "Tuesday night, Wednesday morning" supposedly carving pumpkins.*** I spent much time not doing productive things but watched adult TV and got all of my net surfing done. At about 4:30 I watched this:

Got to have Faith

It took me until at least five to stop giggling. I tried to explain it to Dale, but it didn't work because I couldn't form a sentence from the giggles and he was too sleepy.** I don't know why it's so funny but it's even funny this morning. I got that from Fussy

Wandering around in my mind is some deep comment**** about how the difference between "A-list" bloggers like Fussy or Finslippy and schmo's like me blogging is frequency of well written posts. I come up with a well written (meaning insightful or amusing) once in a blue moon. They do it on a regular basis. That and a custom domain. It makes me wonder if I could do it too. Since I already have the required domain.

The boy has now escorted one of the kittens into our room. She's sitting on my back, warm, snugly and purring like mad. It's such a cool feeling. If only I could convince her to settle there all night, I'm sure that my shoulder muscles would be much looser.

That means it's time to get up and moving.

* Making a shark costume for the boy. It's pretty rad.
**He'd gotten up to do laundry. Don't ask why. It's just what happens in this house.

***Three this year: A traditional face, a cat and a rocket/outerspace scene. I'll try and take photos tonight.
****Edit: Having reread this, perhaps the comment isn't so deep as egotistical. Still I wonder.

Insomnia

2007-10-27T07:00:52Z

I am thoroughly unsatisfied with today. Logical today that is. I couldn't sleep last night, and I'm not sleeping tonight. Last night Jeffrey kept waking up and complaining about the line apples in his head.* Eventually, I brought him in to sleep with Dale and I went elsewhere. The upshot of the whole story is that I didn't fall asleep until 6am. With a brief break to get the boy to school,** I slept until 3pm or so. Got up, went to the chiropractor's, came home, had "a distinct lack of ~~words~~communication" with Dale about who should make supper, bought pizza, put the boy in bed and came to bed myself. This was immediately followed by "words" with Dale about finances.

Didn't do much, but I'm feeling just wiped. Can I sleep? Not on your life. I feel like I should go downstairs and get something. What? I don't know. I've been down twice and just stood around looking at stuff. I had a bite of leftover pizza and a glass of milk to make sure it wasn't hunger. I've fidgeted, flopped, changed blankets, changed pj's, changed socks,changed rooms and come back to my own bed. Stupid body. Stupid brain. Let me sleep!!

*No, I don't know what he meant. He doesn't know either.
**With blue hair. It was Wacky Hair Day.

Things I need.

2007-10-25T21:50:32Z

Ok it's not really a need, it's a want. but here it is.

I'm looking for pictures of robotic kittens or kittenish robots. Preferably ones that could be printed out in colour at about 3 or 4 inches high.

Either kittens made out of metal and plastic or robots with fur and whiskers.

That's what I want today.

Let me know if you know of any.

yukon_ruby @ 2007-09-28T07:26:00

2007-09-28T12:00:59Z

I'm sleepy this morning. My alarm went off at 6:45 and I'm still in bed. I got up to reboot the laundry, but I'm pretty immobile. Miss Marble has given up on getting breakfast for now and gone back to birdwatching.

We're headed to Waterlooo for a birthday party for Beacon. (Kelly and Shannon's youngest) Have no idea what or where or when we'll get a present.

I'm looking for something pithy to say, but nothing's here. I guess I'd better get up and moving.

I'm headed here.

2007-09-28T01:17:57Z

At least I had underwear, wipes and pants in my knitting bag.

Writer's Block: Know Thyself

2007-09-26T20:23:31Z

What is your favorite thing about yourself? Least favorite thing?

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My favourite thing is probably my ability to be a good friend. It sounds kind of sucky but I really like the fact that other people turn to me when they are having a crisis. I'm not sure why people do though.

My least favourite thing is either my headaches or my depression. Both of those things have interfered with my life signifigantly at different times. Neither of them is completely controled either.

Timmie's and Pepsi.

2007-09-26T19:58:41Z

Oh no! Tim Horton's has switched from Coke products to pepsi ones. There is nothing on Tim's or Pepsi corporate websites about the switch. Being able to get a bottle of Coke without getting out of my car was the reason I went to Tim's. Where will I get my fix now? I very rarely go to Tim's if I'm not craving Coke and in a major hurry.

Perhaps this change will end up saving me money and improving my health. As long as I'm getting out of the car, I'm not going to pay the ultra-convenience price of a fast food place. I might as well head to a grocery store. Not as fast and many more choices. If I'm in a huge hurry, I'll be dealing without. If' I'm organized, I'll be bringing from home. I'm more likely to have juice or water at home than pop. If I'm at a grocery store, I'll either be buying juice(like Allen's apple peach! yum yum yum.) or a case of cans(cheaper and less per container). If I'm at Timmie's, I'll be buying milk or juice instead. (less profit for them)

All the same I'll miss my Coke fix. I wonder how many people will care? Will this change your buying habits?

Writer's Block: (like juggling chainsaws)

2007-09-22T14:41:40Z

What is one crazy thing you would like to learn to do?

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Define a crazy thing. I'd like to learn to weave, because the idea of taking a insubstantial straight line and creating a piece of fabric intrigues me. It's something about taking right angles to make curves that appeals to my inner mathematician and my inner artist simultaneously. I’m not sure if that’s crazy or simply impractical.

I’d like to learn to keep a clean house, but that’s not crazy. It’s just the lack that indicates that I am crazy. I’m pretty sure that my neighbours would like me to keep a clean house too. A clean car would be nice too. I have boxes in the back of the car that my mother gave me in the summer of 2006. I haven’t brought them in to the house because there is no place for me to put them. They are full of things that I’d like to keep: Memories from my childhood, Souvenirs from the Yukon, Pictures that someday I’ll put into an album. Someday.

I’d like to learn to be a better parent. The boy threw a huge tantrum this morning because I wasn’t helping him play a game on the computer. He was doing perfectly fine without my help. He seems to be at a stage where everything that goes wrong is my fault or Dale’s. It depends on who is closest to him at them time. I didn’t feel that there was anything that I could do to make him play better and I was alternating knitting with puttering around picking things up from the floor. He went and woke Dale up. I feel somehow if I was a better parent, the tantrum would not have happened. I don’t know what Dale thinks of my parenting skills. I wonder if I’m being selfish and self-centered not to help. But Jeffrey is becoming a spoiled brat who thinks everyone should jump to his orders.

I also wonder if this attitude of entitlement is at the base of the toilet training issues too. More on that later.

Far Too much Information.

2007-08-19T23:09:48Z

I now know far more about my mother-in-law's urinary tract than I ever needed or wanted to.

Want some cheese with that?

2007-08-03T02:57:00Z

Tonight Jeffrey agreed to go to his bedroom without issue if we played a particular game for the 19 minutes left before bedtime. When that time came he denied having made the agreement and started whining for stories. This causes me to do one of three things. 1) Give in completely and let him have/do what ever he wants. 2) Get very angry and want to get violent. This causes me to shut down and give the parenting over to Dale for fear that I would actually hurt him if I gave in to my urges. 3) Get not quite as angry and yell alot while physically moving him into his own bed.

None of these reactions are positive parenting. I'd like to change my reactions so that I had more middle ground. When it's not bedtime, I'm usually able to react in a calm manner that still gets the job done. I just wish I had more stamina at bedtime.